A friend reminded me

I said in my first post that you would get to know more about me as time progressed, this post is about an issue that I personally encounter a lot. 

This post has taken me far too long to write, much longer than I thought it would, and I've deleted it 3 times already. 

Inspired by a post on a friends blog - toofat2model - London Trip - please go give this a read 

My physique is tall and slim this is something that I often receive comments on when I'm out and about. I'm 5ft 8" and weigh 9 stone. Comments like, you need some meat on your bones are the easy ones to deal with, you just laugh those ones off, but it's the other ones that stick. 

I was on a night out with a friend, she needed some air so we both went outside, just chatting I heard a guy amongst a group of girls say (quite loudly actually) "that girl is far too thin" I turned around to see the entire group looking at me. Those are the comments and situations that stick with you. 

Here's me 

It might not seem like a big deal, and you might think it's a compliment to be called thin, but it is a big deal and to be honest being called too thin is not a compliment. Believe it or not. 

I don't go out of my way to be thin, I eat a healthy balanced diet ! Well actually that's a lie, I eat a lot of chocolate and junk food most of the time but I chose the decaf way of life, home cooked meals most nights and I certainly work my ass off in the gym. Along with a minor condition I won't bore you with which is probably why I'm as thin as I am. 

Lizzie's post relates to her modelling career and how her weight has effected her relationship with food. Quite the opposite to me. My modelling career isn't as exciting as hers but I have modelled locally for 5 years. I am so thankful for all of the opportunities I have been given and the highlight has to be being the front cover of the Journal last year. I haven't done anything in a while, although i have a few exciting opportunities this year.  I would love to model professionally but I guess although I'd pin myself as a strong person I guess I'm scared of the comments I could get at castings. 

Whilst my relationship with food remains unaffected, that's not the same for all girls is it? Unfortunately there are hundreds of thousands of people both Male and Female, out there who struggle with the little comments people make. 

 

Everyone has insecurities that's just life isn't it? and we are our own worst enemies at times, we obsess over things that people won't even notice but 'I know it's there' is always the self given excuse to obsess more.

I think how you deal with your insecurities says a lot about the person you are, my best friend is a perfect example. No matter what life has thrown at her I have always seen her deal with the situation with a grace and a strength that I am in awe of, she always comes out fighting fit and better off. She's an incredible human being. Someone I know I will always have there and I will always look up to. 

I wish everyone was like that! 

But we're not. We are built differently, but I think that's the point we are all differently beautiful, those quirks make us who we are, whether it be your height, weight, the size of your feet or your ears or your laugh, your individualities are beautiful because without them you wouldn't be you. 

My confidence wobbles just like everyone's so I'm in no position to tell you how to be yourself, comfortable in your own skin, it's the hardest thing you and I will ever do, but I can encourage you to love yourself and I can tell you that taking the small steps towards loving yourself no matter how little go a long way. I speak from experience 

Wish me luck 

B

x